This is it: The last weekend before the last Christmas of the first decade in the 21st Century. And the enormity of this unique moment in time is perfectly represented through the smorgasbord of awesome events available to indulge, including a ton of entertaining ways to get that last second gift, a bunch of concerts (some of which have ZERO holiday music in them!), some comedy that throws serious horns, and much, much more. Hit the links below and choose well.

Friday, Dec 20

Batman Returns Returns Past Event Like List
Director Megan Tabaque and a full cast of performers and artists from Austin and Portland bring a satirical musical recreation of Batman Returns to the Revolution Hall stage for a two-night stand, staring Sabrina Ellis (Sweet Spirit, A Giant Dog) as Batman, Har Mar Superstar (AKA Sean Tillmann) as the Penguin, Toody Cole as Alfred, Holland Andrews (Like A Villain) as Catwomen, and Lance Bangs as Commissioner Gordon. Expect plenty of crowd-interaction, elaborate handmade sets, brand new music, and loads of surprises and special guests. (Fri Dec 20, 7:30 pm, Revolution Hall, $15-30, all ages)

Natasha Leggero & Moshe Kasher Past Event Like List
Moshe Kasher and Natasha Leggero, the finest husband and wife comedy team since Stiller and Meara, have found a wonderful way to capitalize on their joyful union. The couple tours together often, performing standup and offering up relationship advice to their fans that can be brutal, poignant, and devastatingly funny. These lovely lovers return to Portland for a full slate of shows, including a taping of their podcast Endless Honeymoon, where they dissect their marriage and skills at raising their daughter along with their funny friends. At this Portland stop that will include hometown hero and former Mercury contributor Ian Karmel. (Fri-Sat Dec 20-21, 7:30 pm & 10 pm, Helium Comedy Club, $25-33) ROBERT HAM

The Siren Theater's Best Christmas Ever! Past Event Like List
Attending the Siren’s Theater's holiday comedy sketch show is an annual tradition for me at this point. The theater’s owner, well-known comedy force Shelley McLendon, cannot abide an easy, cynical pun so the “holiday-positive” show always surprises with new, hilarious material and the occasional sensual song. In years past, the Mercury’s Wm. Steven Humphrey deeply unsettled me with his Clockwork Orange-esque elf smiles. This year I’m told there will be GHOSTS, Christmas ships, and Santas from around the world! (Fri-Sat Dec 20-21, 7:30 pm, Siren Theater, $14-20) SUZETTE SMITH

Schaus, Madie, Desire Boat Past Event Like List
Do you like your electronic pop with a little bit of a warp in it? That welcome bit of unsteadiness that feels like you’ve got the perfect buzz on? Then, friends, this is the show for you. Headlined by the dreamboat known as Schaus— whose most recent EP Quite Okay marries his slightly processed vocals and watery keyboard melodies with skip-jump rhythms—the show is rounded out by Desire Boat, a mysterious darkwave assault as heard through faulty speakers, and Madie, the former frontperson for Fringe Class, who decamped to LA. They are making their solo Portland debut tonight in advance of their first album. (Fri Dec 20, 8 pm, Turn! Turn! Turn!, $5) ROBERT HAM

Patterson Hood Past Event Like List
What a generous and wonderful gift the artistic output of Patterson Hood has turned out to be. The son of one of the greatest bassists who ever lived—David Hood of Muscle Shoals, Alabama—Patterson’s legacy would have been assured even if he’d just dipped his toe in the waters of his dad’s profession. But as it turns out, Hood not only co-fronts one of the most prolific and fiery rock bands of the past two decades (Drive-By Truckers), he’s carried on a simultaneous solo career in music and become a fantastic essayist and storyteller, exploring the conflict of the two Americas and the redemptive power of music. Now a Portlander, Hood carries on a relatively new holiday tradition with two solo shows at the Doug Fir, where he’ll do plenty of talking, and just as much playing. (Fri-Sat Dec 20-21, 9 pm, Doug Fir, $20-25) NED LANNAMANN

It's a Tony Starlight Christmas! Past Event Like List
If you like your holiday swinging with a dose of cocktails, check out It's a Tony Starlight Christmas, in which Portland's fave crooner is joined by a rat pack of talented singers to perform classic holiday hits (and comedy) in the style of Frank, Dino, Liza, Bing, and more. (Dec 20-22, Fri-Sat 8 pm, Sun 1 pm, The Tony Starlight Showroom, $27-75)

Die Geister Beschwören, Young Hunter, Crowey Past Event Like List
An offshoot of the freeform musical collective known as Datura Blues, the Arcata, California-based project Die Geister Beschwören has roots in the folk traditions but clearly enjoys ripping those out of the ground and replanting them at will. Led by multi-instrumentalist Oryan Peterson-Jones, the group (whose name translates to “call up the ghosts”) plays music that, at times, feels held together by rough bits of twine and prayer, and elsewhere feels meticulously constructed with an abundance of horns and strings. It’s anyone’s guess which side of the band we’ll get tonight. Either way, it will be a night of psych bliss. (Fri Dec 20, 9 pm, High Water Mark, $8) ROBERT HAM

Farnell Newton & The Soul of Jazz
Local trumpeter Farnell Newton is one of the Portland jazz scene’s most stalwart musicians, but he’s also revered for being a “dad” to the music scene at large for providing relentless support as a teacher, mentor, and through fluid collaborations with other artists making hip-hop and R&B. If you can catch him on his own, or with his band the Othership Connection, you’ll be sent home with a renewed appreciation for the artform, and the fact that you have so many cheap and casual opportunities to see this guy play. (Fri Dec 20, 7 pm, The 1905) JENNI MOORE

Twerk Du Soleil Past Event Like List
Twerk Du Soleil returns to Dante's to heat up your winter with a night of fire, circus, and dance performances from some of the region's finest, along with music from Horny Womp Womps (Nara, Moose and Poom from High Step Society), Mr. Moo, Joe My Goodness, and DJ Debonair. (Fri Dec 20, 8:15 pm, Dante's, $10-15)

Anuhea, Bo Napoleon, Fluid Foundation, CoLoSo Past Event Like List
Hawaiian singer/songwriter Rylee Anuheakeʻalaokalokelani Jenkins, better known by her stage name Anuhea, brings a blend of folk-pop and reggae back to the Star Theater stage as part of the "All is Bright" Tour. Bo Napoleon, Fluid Foundation, and CoLoSo round out the bill. (Fri Dec 20, 9 pm, Star Theater, $25 & Up)

Holiday Sparkle Past Event Like List
Clare Apparently hosts this winter wonderland of cabaret goodness, starring RuPaul's Drag Race alum Tammie Brown. (Fri Dec 20, 9 pm, Clinton Street Theater, $25-35)

Lost Kings, Martin Jensen Past Event Like List
The partnership of Dr. No (AKA Nick Shanholtz) and Robert Gainley (AKA Robert Abisi) has led to some of the most in-demand EDM in the world. Catch up with them tonight when they bring the "Los Angeles" Tour to the Hawthorne Theatre along with support from Martin Jensen. (Fri Dec 20, 9 pm, Hawthorne Theatre, $20-25, all ages)

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Saturday, Dec 21

Ural Thomas' 80th Birthday Party Past Event Like List
You only turn 80 once. That’s why hometown soul legend Ural Thomas is inviting all of Portland to see him into his eighth decade in style. Thomas, who began his career working alongside icons like Otis Redding and Mary Wells, has spent the past seven years churning out sweet, soulful tracks as the front man for Ural Thomas and the Pain. For his birthday party, Thomas will join the Pain for a hip-shakin’ set alongside performances by local hip hop artist Covi. (who also happens to be Thomas’ nephew), R&B crooner Nick Waterhouse, comedian Adam Pasi, and pillars in Portland’s soul community, Paul Knauls, Sr. and Calvin Walker. (Sat Dec 21, 8 pm, Revolution Hall, $20, all ages) ALEX ZIELINSKI

Portland Trail Blazers vs. Minnesota Timberwolves Past Event Like List
When it comes to giving gifts around the holidays, the NBA is pretty tough to beat. As standings rapidly separate the cream of the crop from the rest of the pack, December match-ups become appointment viewing for fans. For evidence, look no further than the Moda Center tonight, with Dame, CJ, and Melo set to take on Timberwolves stars Karl Anthony-Towns and Andrew Wiggins in a game that’s likely to have major playoff implications down the road. (Sat Dec 21, 7 pm, Moda Center, $28 & Up, all ages) CHIPP TERWILLIGER

Curren$y, Smokey Charles, Smoke DZA Past Event Like List
One of the original members of Lil Wayne’s Cash Money Records, New Orleans rapper Curren$y (née Shante Scott Franklin) later signed to Master P’s No Limit as an addition to the 504 Boyz. Having started his own label, Jet Life Recordings, in 2011, the New Orleans rapper has been in control of his own destiny for a minute now. The artist has certainly put out an ungodly amount of content in his decade-long career—dozens of mixtapes before and after his studio debut This Ain’t No Mixtape, plus a handful of EPs, collaborative projects, like 2009 with Wiz Khalifa and a plethora of full-lengths including his 2019 double dip, Hot August Nights and Hot August Nights Forever—giving him lots to choose from for tonight’s show. (Sat Dec 21, 9 pm, Dante's, $26-30) JENNI MOORE

Holiday Spirits Fest Past Event Like List
Portland Saturday Market livens up that last-minute shopping with liquor, and lots of it, featuring local crafted spirits, their makers, and sampling some of the the wonderful cocktails and flavors they make, with bottles you can take home after enjoying some live music and picking up some unique gifts. (Sat-Sun Dec 21-22, 11 am, Portland Saturday Market, free)

Mosh Pit: Heavy Metal Comedy Past Event Like List
If you’ve ever said, “Hmmm… comedy performance need more heavy metal,” then this could be the show for you! Mosh Pit: Heavy Metal Comedy features the improv stylings of Death Hammer (who have charmed/terrified audiences at the SF Sketchfest as well as the Out of Bounds Comedy Festival), as well as more comedy via a special live performance of the What’s More Metal? podcast starring Mercury Genius of Comedy Nariko Ott and Dan Weber. BUT IT GETS EVEN MORE METAL, because there will also be a head-banging performance from death-grind trio Main Force Patrol. So if you like to laugh and rock the fuck out, get in the pit. (Sat Dec 21, 9 pm, Kickstand Comedy Space, $10) WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY

Greyhounds, Caitlin Sherman, Redray Frazier Past Event Like List
The Austin-hailing duo headed up by keyboardist Anthony Farrell and guitarist Andrew Trube has been making music and touring for over 15 years. Catch up with them tonight when they bring their blend of Memphis soul and classic funk through Mississippi Studios for a pre-holiday show with support from Caitlin Sherman and Redray Frazier. (Sat Dec 21, 8 pm, Mississippi Studios,$15-17)

Dream Wulf, Queen Chief, Fire Nuns Past Event Like List
What Portland quartet Dream Wulf understands better than much of the psych-rock rabble is that making spacey, freaked out noise doesn’t amount to much if you don’t have good songs to go with it. On the group’s latest album All Things Unconsidered, they bear that out with tunes that are replete with melody and a foundation of gritty blues that still seek to take you to higher planes of reality. The key ingredient to their magical formula is the presence of singer/guitarist Jessica Bahl, who opts for a more earthbound approach to her performances instead of the wispy coquettishness of other female-fronted acts of this kind. (Sat Dec 21, 9 pm, Alberta Street Pub, $8) ROBERT HAM

Cirque Nutcracker Past Event Like List
Troupe Vertigo join forces with the Oregon Symphony to present an array of cirque, dance, and acrobatic art set to Tchaikovsky’s holiday masterpiece, The Nutcracker. (Sat Dec 21, 2 pm & 7:30 pm, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, $30 & Up, all ages)

Winter Makers Mercado Craft Fair Past Event Like List
The Portland Mercado hosts this craft fair featuring all sorts of locally-made good stuff to share with loved ones this holiday season, with live music, live performances, and a ton of vendors to procure great gifts from. (Sat Dec 21, 11 am, Portland Mercado, free, all ages)

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Sunday, Dec 22

Ezza Rose, Sunbathe, Moon Shy Past Event Like List
Apple Music categorizes Ezza Rose’s first album, 2014’s Poolside, as “easy listening.” It’s a little too haunting to be labeled with that epithet, but Poolside does have a sense of delicacy, with Rose’s bold, clear voice contrasting with too-gentle guitar. Things picked up a bit the following year with When the Water’s Hot (“Rock,” declares Apple Music), then picked up even more with No Means No, with the band fully embracing a heavier, denser wash of sound—building a sturdy soundscape that's strong and inventive on its own, and even more so when buttressed by Rose’s vocals. “We’ve gone electric and kind of veered away from the folky stuff,” Rose told the Mercury in 2018, and the decision to amp things up continues to pay off: While No Means No has some slower tracks (“Baby, Come Down” is this close to a song that’d be played for a slow dance at the prom in the 1950s), the best stuff (“No Means No,” “Hands of Gold”) prioritizes dancing over introspection—or at least acknowledges that the two aren’t always mutually exclusive. (Sun Dec 22, 8 pm, Mississippi Studios, $10-12) ERIK HENRIKSEN

Publication Fair 2019 Past Event Like List
Got some last-minute holiday gift shopping to do? Literary Arts’ annual showcase of local small presses offers a wide range of options, from Know Your City’s radical Portland guides to the offbeat indie art of Floating World Comics. These gift options are so beautifully specific and Portland-centric that your loved ones will have no idea you waited until December 22 to buy them. (Sun Dec 22, noon, The Cleaners at the Ace Hotel, free, all ages) BLAIR STENVICK

MAE.SUN Past Event Like List
Led by soprano saxophonist/flautist/vocalist Hailey Niswanger, jazzy sextet MAE.SUN creates soulful, swirling musical journeys designed to take you out of this world. While one might be tempted to rubber-stamp the style of this New York-based group as flat-out “jazz,” a deeper listen reveals underlying textures of neo-soul and funk, with dashes of electronica thrown in as well. Their improvisations dip and float through the air as if kept aloft by a strong, gusty wind, but at the same time are meditative and emotionally resonant. Lovers of expert musicianship and jazz fusion won’t want to miss it. (Sun Dec 22, 9 pm, Doug Fir, $12-15) WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY

Kingsley Past Event Like List
Chicago-born Kingsley recently relocated to Portland, and she brought her sumptuous, soulful music with her. There’s a little bit of everything in Kingsley’s repertoire: sexy R&B on tracks like “Vibe,” defiant pop on “You Didn’t,” and introspective songwriting on “I Am Because I Am,” which is also the title of her 2018 EP—a mission statement, perhaps, or a promise. Kingsley’s performance at Rontoms is part of the venue’s Sunday Sessions series, and that’s fitting, as her music is an ideal soundtrack for long, lazy weekend afternoons. (Sun Dec 22, 8 pm, Rontoms, free) BLAIR STENVICK

BRRR! Winter Solstice Celebration PDX Past Event Like List
It’s definitely cold out in these streets, so any outing during the week of Christmakwanzakah had better be worth it. This Winter Solstice Celebration in Kelly’s Olympian’s cozy showroom highlights some of the most promising hip-hop artists in the PNW, with a bill showcasing acts from both Seattle and Portland. Portland-based rapper Bocha and producer Sxlxmxn hold up the middle of the lineup, and the headliner is Seattleite/underground rapper Remember Face, who recently released a mesmerizing video for his single “Moon.” Producer/multi-instrumentalist Samurai Del also makes the trip down from the Emerald City. (Sun Dec 22, 9 pm, Kelly's Olympian, $12) JENNI MOORE

Queer Eye for the Magi Past Event Like List
Portland singers Jimmy Wilcox and Dru Rutledge link up with RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars season 4 winner Monét X Change for an outlandish holiday cabaret packed with standards and surprises. (Sun Dec 22, 8 pm, Aladdin Theater, $25-80)

Peacock Lane Past Event Like List
SCARF UP, MOTHERFUCKERS! It's time to get your eggnog-loving ass to Peacock Lane, which starting TONIGHT will blaze and burn with SO MUCH GODDAMN CHRISTMAS CHEER that your eyes will shoot out jets of scalding-hot mulled wine! For over 80 years, the residents of Peacock Lane have gone bugfuck shitcrazy with Christmas lights—and my sources on the Lane are whispering that this year is gonna be a particularly mind-blowing orgasm of electric insanity! Will there be a hot cocoa booth? FUCKING OF COURSE THERE WILL BE, AND I'M GOING TO DRINK ALL OF IT. (Sun Dec 22, 6 pm, Peacock Lane, free, all ages motherfuckers) ERIK HENRIKSEN

Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!