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Oh God, he’s back. Like the demented Tooth Fairy, the rabid Easter Bunny, or the grandiose Great Pumpkin, the Old Saint Nick of Nutcases is ready to tour again with his all new holiday comedy show from hell. But John Waters doesn’t need any enslaved reindeer or un-unionized elves, not even a non-binary Mrs Claus. No sirree, he can spread his sticks-and-stones humor all by himself to the bad little boys and girls and thems who have been haughty and anything-but-nice all year.

And wait ’til you see what’s inside his bag of Christmas-Evil presents! Celebrity blow up dolls! New yuletide diseases with booster shots that actually get you high! Kindergarten detention drag shows in Florida! Even gift certificates to the Dark Web for your parents!

O come all ye faithful indeed! We’ll be docking around the Christmas tree, fisting the turkey with stuffing, and snowballing under the mistletoe. It’s a John Water’s Christmas and that’s a miracle! We’re the filthiest people alive and we get down on our knees to celebrate.