Your first thought upon hearing Matt Donaher’s stand-up routine is: Why did he huff helium before going onstage? But apparently that pinched, archetypal nerd voice is real, and it enhances his hilarious, absurdist quips, which are like Bruce Lee’s famous one-inch punch, only with words. If there were Nobel Prizes awarded for self-deprecation, Donaher would be an annual contender. A regular on Conan, he comes across like an adenoidal Steven Wright, but with a quicker delivery and just as high of a guffaw-to-groan ratio. Here’s a greatest hit: “I grew up Catholic. We’re still to this day eating the body of Christ. How big was this guy?” by Dave Segal