August brings heat, summer malaise, and the annual Washington Midsummer Renaissance Faire. This time-honored tradition beckons city folk to squeeze into tights and bustiers before making their way to a park that, for a brief moment, becomes the English town of Merriwick. Over three weekends, Ren Faire-goers are living in a time where pirates, elves, and fairies delight and terrorize humans; turkey legs are the most delicious things on Earth; and men stake their egos on jousting. You can get lit off of mead at alehouses like your ancestors might've in the olden times and tip your hat at Queen Elizabeth herself, who'll grace Merriwick with her presence. There's also an artisan marketplace, where you can tipsily buy a necklace or a hat that you'll literally never wear again. Go drink and be merry and forget about the plagues afflicting our society for but a moment. by Jas Keimig