One fateful Christmas day in the 2010s, I popped in a VHS of the '89 schlockfest Road House, and the rest was history: I was immediately awestruck by Patrick Swayze's Dalton, a peace-keeping bar bouncer with a Ph.D. whose proclivity for beating up corrupt henchmen lands him in a back alley of Trouble with a capital T. This movie's got khaki slacks, monster trucks, and lines like this. It is awesome. Road House: The Play parodies the trash classic with jaunty music and mockery added to the plot; the show debuted in 2010 to sold-out audiences and rave reviews, so head to a performance for sweaty, ass-kicking laughs courtesy of Portland's funniest (including the Merc's own Wm. Steven Humphrey). by Lindsay Costello