Merry Fistmas! Season’s Beatings! Happy Hole-A-Day. Like a nutcase St. Nick for Christmas crazies, John Waters, “gutter” filmmaker (Mondo Trasho, Cecil B. Demented, A Dirty Shame), tawdry stand-up comedian (This Filthy World) and author of many appalling books (Role Models, Carsick, Mr. Know-It-All) is on tour again with a whole new bag of holiday filth for bad little boys and girls everywhere. Both Santa and Jesus will send their regrets when this ho-ho-homo lets loose about reindeer virgin births, the illegally squatting Christ-child and chubby-chasing Mrs. Clause. There’ll be no silent nights here! No, this rapid-fire monologue for adult delinquents asks the holiday questions, “Was Joseph a virgin, too?”, “Is Santa now an incel?”, “Is Rudolph a bossy bottom?”, “Prancer a no-fats-or-femmes top?” And Vixen, well, “Did she make love with Russ Meyer?” Faux miracles really do happen if you pray to a lower power and Waters begs for the Satanic Temple to convert Greta Thunberg, hopes for a holiday “wilding” outbreak against the Christmas spirit from non-Christian minority children worldwide, and dreams of a new Catholic saint based on Chucky, the horror movie icon. John Waters, the Santa Clause who will give you pause, the fucked-up Father Christmas is coming to town to put the X back in Xmas. Be there or die.