GET READY FOR SOME KENNY G FACTS IN YOUR FACE, MOTHERFORKERS! Fact one: Kenny G grew up in Seattle and studied accounting at the University of Washington! WHAT. Fact two: In 1997, Kenny G held the world record for playing the longest continual note on a saxophone (an E-flat for 45 minutes and 47 seconds). BANG! Fact three: Kenny G is super popular in China! His song “Going Home” is played at the end of business days at many shopping malls, health clubs, and train stations. SLAMMA-JAMMA! And Fact four: Kenny G’s Miracles: The Holiday Album is one of the most successful holiday albums of all time, selling eight million copies, which he’ll be playing IN ITS ENTIRETY at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall for the luckiest, motherforking ears in the world—yours. BATHE IN HIS GLORIOUS MAJESTY, YOU UNDESERVING BUNGHOLES! by Wm. Steven Humphrey