Are we not all, in some way or another, imperfect candies? Sweet but cracked? Sure, why the hell not. This weekend local chocolatier Theo will be selling, at a steep discount, broken bars of chocolate — merchandise that didn’t quite make it unscathed through the manufacturing process in their Fremont factory. A one-pound bag will run you $10 (that’s about half what you’d normally pay for a bar), they’ll have free samples for folks waiting in line, and you’ll also get 10% off non-damaged goods if you want to pop your head into the store. It’s like a rummage sale you can eat! There's no way to predict exactly what varieties of chocolate will be available, since it's whatever happened to stumble in the production process, but hey, come on, CHEAP CHOCOLATE. Surely you will find some use for it. The whole shebang takes place outdoors; it’s looking like it may be a warm one, so bring one of those insulated picnic bags with a freezer pack wrapped in a dishrag if you don’t want your scavengings to melt on the way home. Om nom nom nom nom. MATT BAUME